It's nice to be in control and to be the one deciding to end the relationship, but if you find yourself in the position of being the break up-ee, there is a way to take some control and walk away with your man-hood intact. First, a fun look at what not to do:
Scooter having a 5-minute conversation with himself:
I never actually responded, but added my thoughts for educational purposes.
1) Denial, "You can't break up with me. I don't want our relationship to be over so it's not over!" Sorry to break it to you, but love is not a democracy.
2) Anger, "I want all the gifts I gave you back! I gave those to the girl I loved and you are not that person!" I would, but that would involve seeing you again and that might not go over so well for your face.
3) Bargaining, "Please, just come over and we'll talk. I'll make you dinner and we'll go swimming and it will be fun :)" I almost felt bad until you wanted me to get half naked in front of you.
4) Depression, "What I am supposed to do without you? We've been together for a whole six months!" Umm, my longest relationship with 3 years. You should remember this since you obsessed about it constantly.
5) Acceptance, "Fine, well I have a new girlfriend anyway!" I see from Facebook that it's been a couple days since that happened (I had to have it verified thinking it would be impossible for a girl not to learn from my mistake). I'm happy for you, but trying to cheat on a girl in the first week of your relationship is a sign that you are a ......... (sigh) a lady doesn't say those words.
What you should have said:
Men, I understand that you can love just as deeply as any woman. This advice can actually be applied to both genders. This is the secret to making your ex second guess her decision and to put you back on top!
1) Denial, let it work in your favor. Take a second to think about what has been said. Do not speak or do anything! Silence is an acceptable response for the first minute.
2) Anger, save this for the gym. In anger you will most likely say something pitiful. I've been there. It makes you look desperate and only reinforces that your ex made the right decision. Instead, use this as motivation to get into shape and to lose those love pounds we all put on.
3) Bargaining, just when you thought anger could make you do something stupid. Nothing is worse than grovelling person. Nothing more needs to be said. Keep hold of your dignity people!
4) Depression, it's okay to be sad. Feel free to go home and break out your childhood stuffed animal and have a good cry. BUT wait until you are home! Do not cry if you can help it. Do not give your ex the satisfaction. Stay strong, my friends!
5) Acceptance, just to screw with them. As you leave, let your ex see that you're already beginning to accept what happened. Tell her that you'll see her around and strut your stuff out that door. If you can nonchalantly take off your shirt like Taylor Lautner on the way to your car I would highly suggest it! (*last part is not for girls...well, maybe) ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment