Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

Everyone has those skeletons in their closet. It's sometimes hard to fess up to your past. Although I agree that it shouldn't be discussed on a first date, you have to bring it up early on in the relationship. As always, here's a piece of autobiography to help demonstrate what not to do:

Marshall and I have been dating for over a year now and although I know he has a large number of skeletons in his closet, I never knew the details and didn't think about it too much. I should probably preface this by saying that we have a gorgeous and VERY promiscuous friend named Candy. Marshall has always taken great care to make sure that Candy was happy and if she had a bad day we would surprise her with visits to cheer her up. It's strange because he does none of this for me, but I'm glad I had a man who was so caring... Or so I thought. Marshall and Candy had slept together and Marshall never told me. After lying initially, he finally admitted the truth and followed it up by saying, "Great. I'll just stop being friends with her, whatever."

Fair warning: this advice gets a little rough, but it's very beneficial! 

What you should have said:

Marshall did have one key element right, unlike on HYMYM you cannot stay friends with a fuck buddy once you are in a new relationship- if the new relationship is important to you. No further advice there, that's just a simple fact.
If you, however, are like Marshall and are already in a relationship and are still friends with Candy, you have a couple of options. One, you can choose Candy and go along happily with your life but you MUST break up with your girlfriend. She may be upset initially, but you are doing what's best for her by freeing her to find the man that she deserves.
If this option does not suit you, you have option two. In this option, you must cut ties with Candy and then sit down and talk to your girl about your past. She may be upset, but remind her that you understand how she feels and that ultimately you chose her because she is far better than Candy (I'm not kidding, girls compare themselves to other girls so you have to let her know she's not getting some skank's leftovers. She's getting the best of you that no one else has or will ever have). It may take some time, but ultimately your girl will appreciate your honesty and will know in the future that she can trust you. You may now give yourself a pat on the back. :)

If you're in a new relationship and haven't had the talk about exes yet, there are ways to quickly and effectively get through this dreaded discussion and actually have your girl more in love with you than before.

On a more casual date, a "Know-All" date as I like to call them, ask her a lot of questions, not just about her past but about her. Gradually bridge into, "Have you ever been in love before?" When it comes time for you to share (considering you have no Candy-s in your life) just give a brief synopsis of each relationship. Mention only small positives and no negatives! For example, "My first girlfriend was back in high school and her name was Cindy. She was a nice person and we dated for two years." This shows that you do not still have feelings for her, but also that you're a nice guy for saying something casually nice about your ex. The key word here is NICE in case you haven't noticed XD. Moving on, end your conversation by saying, "I don't see or talk to them anymore because I value what we could have." If that's too intense for you, stop at the "anymore". Judge how much reassurance you need to give by what she says about her past.

You're finally ready to handle the big leagues! Happy dating :)